Tuesday, December 12, 2006

There is Joy in Anger

By the time I reached the trailhead at the rock I was good and pissed. I had time on the ride over to think. As I pulled up I see that someone had taken my usual parking space and it made things worse. I didn't rant and rave and act like a total ass, I was saving it for the trail. As I was gearing up Russ pulls up and asks how I'm doing, "I'm feeling angry tonight", he nods, "Join the club" was his reply. I get ready and we roll onto the trail, lights blazing. Jim takes off and sets a blistering pace and I catch him and stay on his wheel. Russ, John and Tommy are on mine and I make them suffer just a little. We make a right turn and head towards Fell Camp and I roll over roots and rocks and use my anger as something to focus what I'm doing. There is nothing but the trail infront of me all else is irrelevant. I float over the trail at breakneck speed on a 12 year old fully rigid mountain bike converted into a single speed. It is absolutely wonderful. We make it to the first road crossing and stop so Russ can shed a layer. Jim doesn't even slow down. I'll catch him later. We roll on and Russ asks if I plan on slowing down, I laugh and hammer on. I have to make someone suffer and I can't do it the way I really would like to, so I do it to my friends, what are friends for? I only make them suffer a little for a little while. I can hear John and Russ behind me huffing as I ride like I own the trail. I am on form and then the thought hit me, there is joy in anger. I take my anger and compress it and direct it. Anger can be very useful, but you have to know when to let it go or it will burn you up. We cross memorial bridge and Russ wants us to tone it down or," we will die a mangled bloody death".

"Well, It would make for a good story," I was letting the anger talk on that one.

"I forgot my camera, so no pictures", Russ said.

"The survivor will have to be very descriptive".

We made the climb and just about caught Jim when I noticed I needed to ajust the cones on my rear hub. A few minutes later we were on our way. I had gotten away from the others when I noticed something small flittering on the trail. It was a shrew bouncing back and forth in the shadows of my head lamp. I almost crash trying to avoid the little critter. I didn't want to hurt it. I know I was making my friends suffer, what's the difference? Well my friends were riding bikes in the woods in the dark, they get what they deserve. The little shrew was just out for supper. I make it to the last road crossing before Fell and I stop expecting to find Jim waiting, wrong. I wait for the others to catch up and notice my Gu flask was missing. I guess I'll have to get a new one this weekend. Soon the others catch up and we wait for Jim. When he doesn't show Tommy takes off after him and Russ and John head back. I follow Tommy. Soon I see the lights and hear Jim and Tommy talking, so I turn around and head back, determined to catch Russ and John. I leave Tommy and Jim far behind and finally catch Russ and John at memorial bridge. The A Team guys were there and we chat awhile, they make fun or the reflectors on my bike. Jim rolls though and we wait before heading out discussing how Big Ring Jim Cox the roadie can also be Jim Granny Cox on the trails. The A Team guys take off and I roll out thinking I could stay with them. Russ thinks he found my flask, but no. I lose the A Team, but am determined to catch them. I wasn't able to catch them, but I have never ridden faster or better on the trails. I roll up to my car and let what anger I haven't used up go. It was a good ride and I feel better. There is joy in anger.

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