Thursday, December 28, 2006


On Tuesday I rode out of Ware Shoals and less than a mile into the ride John Campbell Lake wiped out on a decent with a curve. He was doing 40mph and he is very lucky he didn't break anything....on his person, his bike is pretty much trashed. The consensus was that the rain of a couple of days before made the Carolina clay where he landed soft enough to absorb most of the impact he took, though the bike is another story. His helmet ploughed into the clay and he had a two pound chunks wedged in one of the vents, with tufts of grass sticking out, pictures to come later. After that the ride pace was a little more sedate. We passed the Santa grave yard and the site of my first crash, apparently the Ware shoals ride is cursed and has taken many casualties, John being the latest. Near the end John follows us in his Toyota Prius and every one makes it back it one piece. Later that evening I received an e-mail from John.

Here is the early list :
1. front wheel rim busted
2. front tire and tube gone
3. Quick Release? it released form the fork
4. Fork trash
5. Just cosmetic damage to the shifters
6. Frame looks ok Will have derek look for a second opinion
7. Get this it trashed the chain! 3 links are bent and will not release
8. Bent derailer hanger and some damage to the derailer shifting into
the spokes. but shifts smooth
9. Rear tire tube shot
10. Rear wheel out of true, adn damage to the rim both sides. I will
smooth and see if it is ok.
11. Seat just a notch in the belt scar!
12. Pedals look ok both are well scraped .
13 . Big ring doubtful 4 teeth may not have made it.
14. Cranks and arms look ok . arms are carbon will check when I can put
pressure on them .
1. Ripped winter tights, Debbie says no hope to repair. Ride with a
hole in them.
2. Gloves , both ripped left on inside , and right on back 50 cent side
holes in each smaller holes on the fingers
3. Coat . ripped ride arm. Not real bad considering damage to my right
4. Wind breaker lower right side several tears. Plenty of blood stains.
I may have to keep riding this just for the effect!
5. Helmet looks ok but the foam is compressed May replace , I think
they suggest you replace after each crash. Don't you hate to say "each"
1. Right arm just above the wrist to just below the shoulder major road
rash. I have fake skin stuff and an ace bandage on it for now.
2. Right knee its not as bad but it has leaked all day long. Put a
gause pad under a leg warmer .
3. Bruise on my left pinky, and a sore left wrist.
4. Sore right shoulder , not bad but I am told to wait until tomorrow!

This thing wiped me out!

And no he didn't recieve a head injury that's how he usually spells stuff.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

There is Joy in Anger

By the time I reached the trailhead at the rock I was good and pissed. I had time on the ride over to think. As I pulled up I see that someone had taken my usual parking space and it made things worse. I didn't rant and rave and act like a total ass, I was saving it for the trail. As I was gearing up Russ pulls up and asks how I'm doing, "I'm feeling angry tonight", he nods, "Join the club" was his reply. I get ready and we roll onto the trail, lights blazing. Jim takes off and sets a blistering pace and I catch him and stay on his wheel. Russ, John and Tommy are on mine and I make them suffer just a little. We make a right turn and head towards Fell Camp and I roll over roots and rocks and use my anger as something to focus what I'm doing. There is nothing but the trail infront of me all else is irrelevant. I float over the trail at breakneck speed on a 12 year old fully rigid mountain bike converted into a single speed. It is absolutely wonderful. We make it to the first road crossing and stop so Russ can shed a layer. Jim doesn't even slow down. I'll catch him later. We roll on and Russ asks if I plan on slowing down, I laugh and hammer on. I have to make someone suffer and I can't do it the way I really would like to, so I do it to my friends, what are friends for? I only make them suffer a little for a little while. I can hear John and Russ behind me huffing as I ride like I own the trail. I am on form and then the thought hit me, there is joy in anger. I take my anger and compress it and direct it. Anger can be very useful, but you have to know when to let it go or it will burn you up. We cross memorial bridge and Russ wants us to tone it down or," we will die a mangled bloody death".

"Well, It would make for a good story," I was letting the anger talk on that one.

"I forgot my camera, so no pictures", Russ said.

"The survivor will have to be very descriptive".

We made the climb and just about caught Jim when I noticed I needed to ajust the cones on my rear hub. A few minutes later we were on our way. I had gotten away from the others when I noticed something small flittering on the trail. It was a shrew bouncing back and forth in the shadows of my head lamp. I almost crash trying to avoid the little critter. I didn't want to hurt it. I know I was making my friends suffer, what's the difference? Well my friends were riding bikes in the woods in the dark, they get what they deserve. The little shrew was just out for supper. I make it to the last road crossing before Fell and I stop expecting to find Jim waiting, wrong. I wait for the others to catch up and notice my Gu flask was missing. I guess I'll have to get a new one this weekend. Soon the others catch up and we wait for Jim. When he doesn't show Tommy takes off after him and Russ and John head back. I follow Tommy. Soon I see the lights and hear Jim and Tommy talking, so I turn around and head back, determined to catch Russ and John. I leave Tommy and Jim far behind and finally catch Russ and John at memorial bridge. The A Team guys were there and we chat awhile, they make fun or the reflectors on my bike. Jim rolls though and we wait before heading out discussing how Big Ring Jim Cox the roadie can also be Jim Granny Cox on the trails. The A Team guys take off and I roll out thinking I could stay with them. Russ thinks he found my flask, but no. I lose the A Team, but am determined to catch them. I wasn't able to catch them, but I have never ridden faster or better on the trails. I roll up to my car and let what anger I haven't used up go. It was a good ride and I feel better. There is joy in anger.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

It Could be Worse

Today was better. I feel horrible though, Yesterday was Miranda's birthday and I was so self absorbed in my misery, I don't know if I did enough to make her 8th birthday what it should be. She seemed happy and that's what counts.

I woke up in a decent mood and made blueberry pancakes, not too bad for no recipe. We made it to church on time with only a minor problem with Miranda's wardrobe. There was a minor scare at Sundayschool, but it turned out to be nothing. Then Adrienne, Miranda, and I lit the love candle for Advent(got to love irony). It turned out to be a decent day, It could have been worse, much worse.

I have to do some shopping, I hate shopping.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Good Days/ Bad Days

Some days are good(ok really) and some days aren't. Today was not good. Hopeless and alone pretty much sums up how I feel lately and today was a little worse than usual. At some point I may have to post what's happening, but for now I don't feel it's the right thing to do. Right now my life has shattered around me and I'm trying not to get cut by the pieces. I'll let you know how that works out later. I'm sick of feeling this way. I want to be angry, if I'm angry it doesn't hurt as much. I want to scream and rage and lash out, but I can't, I wont. Promise made, promise kept. I have friends, I know I'm not completely alone, but when I hurt the most, it's just me with my pain.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Change is Good....Right?

I haven't posted in a while and I know many are concerned over my last post. Well I'm alive. There has been a huge amount of change in my life lately. I have changed job duties, learning a new job while training someone for my old job, dealing with numbers on both ends before the end of the year... On top of that, the worst of it, is a bunch of personal stuff going on now. It's been too much to handle and overwhelmed is an understatement. The three of you who read this and are worried about me, I'll be ok. It may take a while, but I'll get there. Some already know what's up, and I'll fill in the rest as I see you, but the details don't belong here. Things are changing and my life is full of uncertainties, or maybe possibilities, but right now they are the same. I don't know what will happen in the next few months and I'm not sure where life is going to take me, I'll just have to make the best out of it.